dude i'm inner monologue high
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
