I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
