I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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