Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
