whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
