it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
