I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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