two words: eviction party
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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