TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
