We won't sleep together?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
