Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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