I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
