69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
