they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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