I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
