My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I understand Curling. That high.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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