It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
