I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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