Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I need to stop coming to work sober
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
