Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
