They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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