and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
