If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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