He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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