I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She bit a glass in half.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
