tonight lets celebrate not being married
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
