Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
