I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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