dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
