I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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