The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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