The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
