Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
