what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You were trust falling into bushes
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
