saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
