he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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