i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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