you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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