it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
