it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
