Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Randomize
