dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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