So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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