from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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