Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
