I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
