His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
