I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
