super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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