the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
