I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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