And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
